President Marc Tessier Lavigne announced that Full Moon On The Quad (FMOTQ) will return for 2022. FMOTQ is an annual tradition where crushes trade kisses on main quad at midnight. With now 99% of students on campus fully vaccinated, yet over 600 positive cases since the start of winter break, campus life is itching to return to normal “just to get this all over with” in the words of one junior interviewed.
While a controversial decision to bring back the event, the president emphasized his intent to retain the spirit of consent in the activity. He noted that, in light of the ongoing pandemic, the changed event would have several options for students to select that would replace the traditional kissing. As students enter main quad on the night of FMOTQ, they may choose from a range of activities to engage with a partner with, including:
- Swabbing your partner’s nose for COVID
- Pressing your lips together through a mask
- Giving a firm handshake with hand sanitizer
- Washing your hands together, then staring into each other’s eyes seductively
- Stripping six feet apart without breaking eye contact
- Swapping masks and licking the fabric before returning
- Playing hopscotch together
- Helping each other with problem sets but definitely not copying work
- Showing each other your health check status
- Comparing which vaccine you got with a crush
- Talking dirty in sign language
- Butterfly kisses
- Vibe check your partner
- Have a “classic Stanford late night conversation” with a stranger
- Venmo each other
- Check your phone whenever your crush comes close so it looks like you have a busy social life and are really cool
- Can’t you all just do one of those tok tik dances?
among others. Students can indicate their choice by choosing one of 17 different colored glow stick necklaces, all different shades of cardinal red.
MTL also noted that while the 2020 FMOTQ event was hosted for a lengthy 30 minutes from 11:30 to midnight, the 2022 FMOTQ would be from 11:51 to 12:02, citing a need for more students to carry watches in order to prepare them with real-world skills.
Asked why he was bringing the event back this year, MTL responded “I felt it necessary for students to have an event that would let them get outside of their dorm room at night, since they’ve all been dutifully quarantining since the beginning of 2020 without a single break. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the first time some students have left their room after 8pm since March 2020! We are proud to sponsor an event that can finally revitalize night life in these unprecedented times.”
Students seemed nonplussed by the return of FMOTQ. “Everyone who goes to FMOTQ is going to get COVID, but there are four kids in my dorm with Omicron who are just isolating in their room, so what the hell,” said one Freshman who wished to remain anonymous, but did mention that she was sleeping in her dorm’s custodial closet since her roommate tested positive.
“On a scale of one to the package center, this probably won’t be that bad of a disaster,” said a senior who’s seen it all before.
Edit 1/27/22: The Stanford Chaparral apologizes for its error in reporting that MTL offered “hand stuff” as a replacement for kissing at FMOTQ. We regret this error but hope he reconsiders.
