Russia Wins Zero Winter Olympic Medals

The atmosphere inside the Beijing Olympic village is electric as world class athletes rub shoulders and push the bounds of human physical achievement. Yet, underneath the ski jumpers sky-kissing in-air gyrations, a dark mystery lurks.

 

The Olympic Committtees official medal tally for the winter Beijing games. The Russian Federation is nowhere to be found!

The Russian Federation, usually a powerhouse at the Winter Olympics, has disappointed this year and so far won zero medals. No golds, no silvers and no bronze. This disastrous performance comes off of their similarly disappointing tally at the Summer Olympics where the country also earned zero Olympic medals. Long a mainstay at the top of medal count lists, most news organizations haven’t even included Russia in their medal count tallies for the past two Olympics. This disastrous showing has many Olympic watchers flabbergasted.

The disappointing performance of Russia contrasts with the break out performance from  Olympic newcomer R.O.C. The Chaparral is currently investigating whether there is any relation between the R.O.C. and Russia.

Ernest James Miranda

Ernest James Miranda

Quieter than Green Library. Deadlier than the KGB. Cuter than a squirrel. More mysterious than a book you haven't read... It's Ernest James Miranda!

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