To whom it may concern,
It is APPALLING that this proto-fascist administration has not violently removed the steel abomination that they have colonized “White” plaza with. As the leader of Associated Opportunists for the Removal of Egregious Creations (AOREC), I am calling for the immediate removal – no – destruction – no – obliteration of the racist, sexist, and frankly ageist monument that has tainted this university since 1954, the so-called “Claw”.
Not only does this idol of vile hatred remind us of the blasphemous depths of the confederacy, but its recent role as an icon of the anti-me-too movement has further complicated its reasoning to stay on campus. And when many online “clawarriors” recently made the statue a symbol for Holocaust deniers, that should have been the nail in the coffin for its horrid tendrils.
Our post-gender utopicampus cannot tolerate the kinds of oppressive symbolism that oppresses students as they glance briefly towards the monument on their way to class. The least this anti-anarchist capitaLOST tyrannical fake-ministration can do is replace the affronting statue with something that will unite this shattered campus.
In the spirit of new beginnings, AOREC proposes a replacement monument that truly encapsulates the inclusive environment that Stanford claims it stands for. The new monument would depict several brave heroes valiantly pulling a rope attached to a replica of the claw, capturing the historic moment the old monument was taken down by casting the scene in raw iron for all to admire. This more pleasant monument represents the toppling of regimes, celebrates the power of activism, and respects the experiences of those offended by the former blemish on our campus life.
It is time for Stanford to recognize its wrongdoing in keeping this monument in order to appease some high profile donors. But the number of people this atrocity has hurt has risen too high. After all, the namesake of the square that the claw inhabits, Prof. Plaza, never put his pronouns in his email signature, so it is time for justice.
Regards,
Hugh Jackman (no relation)
